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40 Before 40
Events We Should Have Had

March 21, 2005

Probably none out of you out there noticed or took seriously our challenge to have 40 Greek events in 40 days before the start of Lent. Well, that day came and went a week ago and we must admit that we fell short. Although we counted about 37 events spread across 40 days, with multiple events on some of those days, there were about 15 days where you couldn’t plan to find Greeks anywhere. This challenge did teach us that there are more Greek events in the area than even we thought or knew about, ranging from the purely social, to the cultural, and educational. We admit we had problems making many of these events but were encouraged that there’s enough Greek things to do in D.C. if you know where to look.

But what about the days where nothing happened? We thought of a few events that should have been scheduled that definitely aren’t your average Greek events.

Greek Night at the Laundry Mat (brought to you by Cheer Dark)

The Setup
From time to time Greek young adults need to launder the remainder of their non-dry-clean-only wardrobe. It’s not that the clothes are dirty per se, but several Greek Nights worth of secondhand smoke takes its toll. We figured making laundry a social event would take the chore out of the whole exercise, so we had everyone converge on a local laundry mat, armed with their old 20 drachma coins hoping that they’d pass for quarters.

The Highlight
The instantaneous connection made when a Greek guy discovers that his goat boxers compliment a Greek girl’s sheep pajamas.

Greek girl on a cell phone: “Yeah mom, he knows how to do his own laundry.”

Overheard 2
Greek guy on a cell phone: “Yeah mom, I think I found one that’ll do my laundry.”

Singles Night at Greek League

The Setup
Forget the Wizards and paying for overpriced tickets at the MCI Center, when there’s a free option at St. Katherine’s gym. Would you rather have boy-girl seating next to a complete stranger at a large anonymous arena or next to a Greek that you feel that you should know and can’t politely move away from?

The Highlight
Coming to the realization that its just like GOYA basketball, only that the guys are older, often slower, fatter and more hung over.

Greek girl #1: Hey check out Number 3 on the blue team… Wasn’t he the guy you used to have a crush on in high school?… Yeah, you’d think he’d be taller by now.

Greek girl #2: No wait, who’s the tall guy on white?… The shaved head’s not working for him.

Greek guy (sitting in between): Excuse me, ladies but this is basketball, not the freaking Academy Awards. And isn’t the point of this exercise for one of you to be talking to me?

Greek Night at the Grocery Store

The Setup
You’ve heard the stories about the Social Safeway in Georgetown or the Harris Teeter in Ballston, where young adults get all dressed up just to buy their produce. We thought of the natural place for Greek-Americans to gather, and came up with the Costco in Fairfax, which already boasts several Greek employees shoveling out extra free samples to an usual high number of loyal Greek customers. (You can’t walk in there on a weekend without running into at least one or two Greeks.)

The Highlight
Watching the Costco run out of lamb and other expensive cuts of meat that only a Greek would have the time, patience, and excess freezer space to accommodate.

“Am I really going to eat 64 pieces of pita bread?…”

Greek Night at the Belly Dance Class

The Setup
Alternate forms of exercise have become all the rage, and quite a number of gyms in the area are offering belly dance classes as a fun way to improve muscle tone and coordination at the same time. This event was organized just for the Greek girls in the area to bond in a relaxed setting. Armed with a basic knowledge of tsifteteli, belly dance lessons serve as a good refresher for those girls who haven’t been to Greek Night in a while or whose skills have languished as a result of too many lounge events.

The Highlight
Pondering the question from outside of the event, “If a group of Greek girls are dancing, and there’s no Greek guys there to stare, is it just as hot?”

“This is cool, but if I wanted to spend time dancing with Greek girls without any Greek guys dancing, I could have just gone to Greek Night next week.”

Greek Fight Club

The Setup
While the Greek girls were off at their belly-dance class, the guys needed to be somewhere. Seeing as it’s been years since a good Greek-on-Greek fight broke out at a Greek Night, the guys in the area didn’t need much of an excuse.

The Highlight
Watching Greek guys fight each other for absolutely no reason, which is no different from other times when Greek guys fight each other.

“Leave it to Greeks to mess up Fight Club by charging $15 dollars and making us wait in this fake line just to get in.”

Chicago Night

The Setup
President’s Day Weekend usually finds a substantial group of Greek young adults from the DC area making a pilgrimage to Chicago for their annual YAL Conference. For those out there who weren’t able to make it, we offered the complete Chicago experience in one night. Starting at the Pizzeria Uno at the Reston Town Center, by far the most social of the Pizzeria Uno’s in the DC area, followed by standing outside in the cold next to an exhaust fan for the Windy City effect, the end of the evening featured a special screening of perhaps the most famous movie set in and around Chicago which features only one word of Greek… yep, you guessed it, the 80’s classic, “Weird Science.” (Ask us later if you don’t remember the scene we’re referring to or the word used.)

The Highlight
Experiencing all that Chicago has to offer without leaving town and not risking getting snowed in at O’Hare Airport.

“Do you even know anyone who went to Chicago this weekend, because it seems like the same old people here tonight?”


Read past feature articles.